


>Initializing

by NotSoDogNinja



Category: Bloons Tower Defence
Genre: Comedy, Random - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoDogNinja/pseuds/NotSoDogNinja
Summary: Soooooooo... How the heck did the 5th tier upgrades become a thing, anyways? Well, in this archived set of recordings, you'll get to hear your favorite set of heroes talk about all of this stuff! Yay!
Kudos: 6





	>Initializing

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah, I had this fanfic lying around from a couple of months ago. Guess I should post it. Sort of a pre BTD6 thing.

> Initializing...

> Running...

> Locating Server...

> Checking connectivity...

> Preparing darts...

> Accessing data files…

> 11001010 10100101 01001010 10101010 10010101 00101010 10001010 

10010101 01001010 10101010 10100101 01010101

“Dude, typing ones and zeros into a Word Doc doesn’t count as hacking.”

“Well what the heck do you know? Anyways, the archives have been loaded onto the computers, under the filename ‘sick tunes to jam to yeet.’”

“Oddly specific mister Benjamin, but let’s get a look at these! These ancient writings I found and partially translated are dated to over two millennia old!”

“That old? There must be something juicy in these ones, I bet.”

“You bet, Quincy! I also found some old mage or druid or some stupid thing like that. Says he’s the ‘spirit of the forest’ or some old nonsense. Although, he says that he may have some knowledge on these tablets and their original meaning. Whatever. I think I’ve even seen him on the battlefield before, helping out some of the more magical based fighters.”

“Terrific. Send him in.”

“On my way, I think he’s meditating or chilling out like a sunbather or something. But I’ll bring him as soon as I can!!”

“Good, she’s gone. Now let’s get a head start on these archives, Ben. ‘kay? Kay. Now go do your thing.”

“O-okay. Just give me a second, they have to load. For some reason, the connectivity is weak today; probably because the High Energy Beacon was deemed unsafe…”

> Accessing data files...

> Loading...

> Failed. Retrying...

> Accessing data files...

> Loading…

> Failed. Retrying... 

> Accessing data files...

> Loading...

> Failed. Retrying...

> Accessing data files...

> Loading...

> Success. Enter Password:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

> Success. Enter Password:

AyyLmA0d0od

> Retrieving data…

> This message will self-destruct in 5 minutes. Proceed?

Yes No

> File Loaded.

“This is it.”

“This is it?!”

“Yes.”

“THIS THING IS LIKE 19 PAGES LONG!”

“Do… you ever read? Most newspapers are longer than this.”

“Yeah! Uh… Yeah! Yeah. Let’s… just keep looking at the photos, alright?”

“…”

“Right?”

“Right. There’s valuable information in here.”

“So, exhibit A.”

“Nothing too spectacular here, it’s just a bunch of monk’s using crossbows. With our type of enemy though, it may be useful to use those against them… Who’s the guy in the darker suit, though?”

“According to the notes provided by Gwendolyn, it appears to be roughly translated to ‘crossbow master.’ Only eyeballing it, but taking everything into scale, which it appears to be, just one of these guys could probably take out ‘the Big Red.’”

“Cool. But what are those lines of text at the bottom?”

“They seem to resemble spells. The first one allows for a talented crossbowman to temporarily turn into a second crossbow master. However, immediately after the battle is over, they turn back to normal permanently, but with a slight upgrade to damage.”

“Interesting. But what’s the second one?”

“It appears to allow for the ricocheting of any projectile. Several of the specialized Glaive assassins have already figured a way to use something similar, however, this enchantment lets any projectile bounce from one target to anoth-”

“Dibs.”

“Wha-?”

“I said dibs.”

“Uhhh… Okay, but let’s wait till we’re finished here. I should also probably mention that it only allows for a maximum of about 10 targets, depending on the size of both the target and the proj-”

“Okay. But still dibs.”

“Let’s move on. Exhibit B.”

“I kind of recognize some of the weaponry here… Strangely familiar.”  
“It appears that in this picture, the people of the deserts used the heat of the lava from volcanoes to create defensive weapons; road spikes. Spikes that lasted well after their intended usage. Also, their heat blasts were nearly unbearable. Using the same lava, they powered machines that spat out fire on all sides faster and hotter than almost all of the things that we have to use today, including our patented “Ring of Fire.”

“So this inferno ring, do you think we can put it back to good use?”

“I don’t see why not. It would put a strain on our thermite plants though… Best to only have one.”

“Wait, why are these two millenia old hobos better at technology than us?”

“They really aren’t. After we settled down, there was no reason to use these weapons of war. However, with the new foes inbound, we’ve been digging up remnants of the weapons prior so we can create new defense mechanisms.”

“Is that how we found out how to summon the glaive lord?”

“Yes. In fact, there is another enchantment found in these next archives on how to upgrade some of our more unconventional attacking forces, allowing them to stun larger targets shortly. This will definitely prove to be useful as a support force.”

“Looks like most of the rest this stuff is just upgrades to the stuff we have though… except for this ice cannon thingy. Seems pretty useful.”

“Yes, it seems that it is extremely useful, as evident by my prototypes. I have a few in the back room.”

“HEYY! IT’S GWENDY! AND I GOT THIS HOBO LOOKING IDIOT TO BOOT TOO!”

“Please refrain from calling me hobo.”

“IT’S TRUE THOUGH! YOU’RE SOME DUDE WHO JUST WANDERS AROUND AND STUFF AND SHOOTS BLUE STUFF AND CREATES WALLS OF TREES AND BRAMBLES OUT OF THIN AIR AND-”

“I think I’ve heard enough. This person has certainly seen his fair share of stuff. So you’re this mage who’s been helping out on the field?”

“Yes, I am. The spirit of the forest awakens.”

“OH, REAlly? Well, if you’re who I think you are, and ha-ha, I do think you ARE… Can you read these two millenia old texts from this ancient civilization that we really would like to know more about? Please?”

“... Sure. I see you’ve already translated most of it. However, some of the more interesting tidbits of what you’ve uncovered remains untranslated. It’s in a different dialect, so I can see why you’ve been confused.”

“Good. So I can make out most of the stuff from the illustrations alone, except those spells at the bottom.”

“Looks like the same type of spell that we’ve been using, just… stronger. What is that spell?”

“That’s Arcane Mastery. The shape of the land formations seem to resemble a canyon not far from here.”

“Which one? There are a few in the general location.”

“The one called ‘Cracked.’”

“Oh, yeah. That one. The mesa in the middle of that desert area?”

“Yes, the mesa. For now. At first it was a luscious meadow, but after the enemy struck all that time ago, it became part of the badlands.”

“Interesting. But there must have been something that could have been done to prevent the attack… The archives came from that areaish. It looks like you guys had incredible weapons.”

“Correct. However, these great weapons were costly to make and keep running. Our ancestors were more for the showoffs. They spent all of their time and energies focusing on the big, the bold, but when the time came to use these inventions, the magic of both the land and of the fighters was drained severely, leading to its demise.”

“Is that why the first tablet we freakin’ found warned that only one or two of those ‘Crossbow masters’ can be fighting at once?”

“Yes, that is why… I suggest only one copy of these powerful tablets should be used at a time.”

“Including the ricocheting arrow shots?”

“NOT including the ricocheting arrow shots.”

“Good.”

“Anyways, those are the ones I’ve translated, what about the ones that aren’t? Shouldn’t we take a look at them?”

“Yes of course.”

“I’ll bring it up.”

> Accessing data files...

> Loading...

> Success. Enter Password:

G00Dday2Bn0TdeD

> Retrieving data…

> Do you want to click the rightmost button?

Yes No

> Liar.

> File Loaded.

“Here’s the part I wasn’t able to translate. It appears to be in a different dialect.”

“That’s because it is. I can read it.”

“What? What dialect is it?”

“It’s a bunch of pictures, kind of like hieroglyphs. This language is called… Wing ding?”

“Wait, I heard of that. I heard about that from some game or something. Should have probably noticed that from before... Well, let's check this out..."\

*End recording*


End file.
